Conscious Death and dying

Graceful transitions: Death and dying in a field of Love.

For the past couple of days our Community has been holding space for a beautiful offering of what gentle, conscious death can be. With the sudden transition from seemingly vital health, to an inoperable brain tumor that was found to be ravaging this gentle woman’s brain…only a day or two was shared she would continue to live.

Her beloved, brought her home…and a Community vigil began. From all over the world, words of Love and support arrived. Local family, and community met at the woman’s residence. Songs were sung, the laying on of hands and whispers of sweet tender gratitude were shared to help guide her on her journey.

On the internet pictures of the process were Lovingly shared, an offering of intimacy and tender connection. Heart felt offerings of witness of the journey, was shared often. A feeling of connection and the blessings of Love emanated to all.

The call of shared experience “May our Hearts BREAK OPEN WITH GREATER LOVE & APPRECIATION for each moment of life on Planet Earth”…for gratitude for our precious time here, with each other.

Now upon reflection, what really touches me the deepest in witnessing this unfolding journey, has been… what a blessing it is to see the ease and grace which Love holds. For me, one of my deepest fears is dying alone. As a society we do not have many pictures of what a transition with Community and Love looks like.

The shocking images of sudden, terror and heart wrenching pain often come to mind for what is shown. For me the worst fear is to die as “Willy Loman” in Death of a Sales man. That fear of disconnection, and the constant nagging internal critic which yells…you have touched no one in your life! There will be no one there for you when you leave this world…the ultimate fear of abandonment.

Now to have a different picture in my Soul, feels comforting. May we all be held by our family and friends as we transition into the state of Death. May our journey be so supported, and the tenderness of our path be honored.

I now have a new vision in my heart. When it is time for me to transition into the realm of All, may Community be present with me in such a beautiful and connective way. The Songs of our Souls, rising in appreciation for a life lived and for a journey still unfolding.

Blessings to you dearHeart, for your beautiful last gifts to this world. They will live on within.


Kris Ellen. 11/28/2011

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Life is not always wine and roses….

Living a real life of relationships as a Sex Positive business woman is a interesting endeavor. In the business of Sexuality, as a Sex Educator and Intimacy Coach there is a certain expectation of the populace that we as sex Professionals have “perfect, secure relationships” in our own lives.

The fantasy of the happy couple, who is sexually active in all the ways we wish we could be. “They” must be doing it right, “they” must be happy, un-conflicted…perfect…because they are sharing their wisdom with us, as Professionals.

I have a tale to tell, dear readers….in complete honesty and utter respect. “They”, anyone who is labeled as different or better than, usually has some reality in their closet.

I was listening to a conversation by a fellow sex geek, this morning, who has directly inspired me to get laid. Seriously. The creativity of this person, has directly influenced my sex life. And here I was listening to the reality of being in a ongoing relationship, and the everyday challenges which happen. Wow! I thought, this person  is just like me…human…

Please my dear readers…understand…we are people too. We have these amazing stories, wisdom to share because of the experiences of our lives. We have been blessed with the focus, and discipline to honor our passion (which may include facilitation, being of Service, creativity, rebellion…) and we have challenges just like everyone else. The ability to have the tools to address the challenges, now that is where true Mastery comes into play. To be able to Communicate with transparency, honesty,  courage…to be inquisitive in relationship, to address whatever facet of life might or might not be working for us…These are the skills we can share with you, as Professionals. And also honor them in our own lives.

Thank you for being here. For sharing this journey, and for seeking your own answers. I am honored to have traveled my own path of relationship, to learn the skills which I offer to you. So that you can have the happiest, healthiest sex life possible. (And sometimes…that means doing the work, digging into the process and coming out a different person on the other side.)

Blessings on your journey.
Kris Ellen
Touch and Intimacy Coach

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Sex Ed classes in the Central Valley!

I am happy to announce a new class in Marysville CA at Mystique Boutique.

*Are you ready to add some sizzle to your relationship?

*Do you have a fun weekend date planned? Are you looking for some tips and tricks to create a fantasy come true?

*Are you interested in bringing pleasure and creativity into the bedroom?

If you answered Yes! to any of these come join us for a wonderful Introductory class. This discussion based course will cover some fundamental principles of Role Play, as well as some helpful hints on how to create the scene of your dreams. Sign up now to reserve your space.

My first class at this location will be: An Introduction to Erotic Role Play.
When: Friday. 4/22/2011

6pm till 7:30pm.

Cost: $10. Space is limited, so please reserve your space today!

For additional information, please call me at 707-845-3076. I look forward to hearing from you.

Kris Ellen

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Tactile communication

Touch as a form of communication, and what an important one!
What do you communicate with your touch? Have you ever taken the time to ponder the intent of your physical gift of touch with another person? What does a hug feel like? What does your brush of the skin with your finger tips convey?

“Tactile communication in adult mating, both as foreplay and in intercourse, has been elaborated and refined by some cultures in the most amazing array of erotic patterns which through a variety of tactual stimulation of various part of the body serve to arouse, prolong, intensify, and evoke communication. Here we see tactile communication, reinforced and elaborated by motor activities and language, by concomitant stimulation, visual, auditory, olfactory, gustatory, ad the deeper muscle senses, combined to provide an organic-personality relationship which may be one of the most intense human experiences. ” pg. 200 . Touching, by Ashley Montagu

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Sex Education classes!

I had such a wonderful time last night teaching at a local University. “Spank and Tickle: Exploring the Kinky Arts” was born of my own personal exploration into Kinky Arts some 13 years in the making. What a Joy to be able to share this knowledge with another generation of questioning young people.

After a beautiful creation process, the class flowed smoothly. Informative, warm, and with the same flavor of sacred space that I provide in all my many facets of Service to the Divine. I am so honored to share this knowledge with those who seek it.

I look forward to sharing many more opportunities of education for sexual choice. Information is necessary for informed choice. May you be empowered to create a healthy, joyous sexual adventure.

Lucid Journey!

Kris Ellen

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Bay Area Sacred Sexuality Meet Up

Come join us if you live in the Bay Area, or visit. This meet up is a celebration of the many traditions of Sacred Sexuality. The creation possibilities are immense. Puja, playshops, workshops, classes, Salons…you name it we can create it.

We will be welcoming some of the most talented practitioners, teachers, and sacred sexual community in the country (and perhaps the world). The Bay Area is such a fertile place to study these Arts, and I am deeply passionate about connecting the various tribes into a greater community.

You are invited to join us! Come explore your own Sacred Sexual Self. This is a safe and sacred place. Welcome.

Kris Ellen

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Intensity and flow

Dear Sensualists,

What an amazing time we have been born into. There are a lot of intense astrological events happening this summer.

Please check out this link for more information:

Here in my skin suit, I have been surfing the waves. I hope you have created time and space for Self care in these dynamic times. Listen to your body, can you feel where you are holding your tension?

I invite you to take time to take time to be with some water. Be grateful for this wonderful element which we are blessed with. Bring your consciousness to the blessings of water. We are made up of a large percentage of this beautiful substance. Allow it to soak into you, to absorb your days stress and worries. If you are in a bathtub: add a few drops of Lavender or Sandalwood as calming aromatherapy. Allow the water to cocoon you. You deserve it. Be held in her sweet embrace.

Here is a prayer for our planets water:

A PRAYER FOR OUR WATER Dr. Masaru Emoto, the scientist
from Japan who has done all the research and publications about the
characteristics of water and how, among other things, water physically
responds to emotions, has proposed a prayer for the Gulf situation.

Right now, most of us have the predominantly angry emotion when we consider what is happening in the Gulf. And while certainly we are justified in that emotion, we may be of greater assistance to our planet and its life forms, if we sincerely, powerfully and humbly pray the prayer that Dr Emoto, himself, hasproposed.

“I send the energy of love and gratitude to the water and all the living creatures in the Gulf of Mexico and its surroundings. To the whales, dolphins, pelicans, fish, shellfish, plankton’s, corals, algae and all living creatures…..I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

We are not powerless. We are powerful. Our united energy, speaking this prayer daily…multiple times daily….can literally shift the balance of destruction that is happening.We don’t have to know how……we just have to recognize that the power of love is greater than any power active in the Universe today.
Please join me in repeating this healing prayer of Dr. Emoto’s.

Please drink lots of filtered, healthy H2O. Your body will thank you.

Whatever you may know as your self care regimen, please take the time to pamper yourSelf. As we are being called to be more conscious; our own actions create in this world we live in. We must take care of ourselves, our neighbors, our community. We are called to shine this light of change into the world.  Hope starts right here. With you, with me, with our choices.

Let’s create the world which we desire to see, one choice at a time.


Kris Ellen

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Life as a Journey

As a sex educator and coach I often get the question…”So, where do I start”?

You have been on a journey your entire life. Each step which has gotten you to this place is part of your adventure. Each experience has gifted you with a view of who you are, and where you have been. The question now is…where do you desire to go? What is your Intention for your life? What dreams do you dream?

Honoring the creative force which you ARE is a huge step in learning how to love yourself, and embracing your sacred sexuality. Our creative force is our sexual being. In the 2nd chakra, our sexuality is one facet of the creation which we birth into our world in each moment we take breath. I have found the first and foremost step on this path, is to learn how to love yourself…completely.

Do you have a self love practice? How do you nurture yourself? How do you care for yourself? (Are you the last person you look to after a long day of being in the world? Does everyone else come first?)

Loving yourself is more than physical masturbation (and that is one part of the whole, beautiful, picture), how we approach our bodies, how we nurture our emotions and listen to them, how we speak to ourselves are all facets of a healthy self love practice).  And it is practice!

How do you feel in the world? Do you feel fully self actualized? Do you feel  well loved up by and and from withIN? You have the power to change your life. One moment at a time.

Blessings on your journey!

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Blissful sex party review.

Thoughts on my recent energetic dance at a Bay Area sex party.

During  my journey as a blossoming Sensualist, I have been honored to attend numerous sex positive events on the West Coast. Sex parties are a modern day Ritual for the exploration and celebration of our sexual and sensual Selves. We are invited to embody the beautiful, natural, sexual nature of Self and create within a safe, sacred space. What that looks like depends on the person we are in the moment, and how we choose to create in the world.

For 9 years I have been blessed to be exploring these energies, in various communities at various times in my life. My first kinky play party was at Castlebar in San Francisco.  My first sex party was with Club Risque back in 2001. I have seen wonderful performance Art (and been part of a few inspiring pieces myself), I have held sacred space on the Vibes crews of various events. I have offered my Service as Dungeon Monitor.  I have frolicked in a Secret Garden at a Northern CA ranch.

I have experienced lots of opportunity to expand and grow over the years. However this past weekend, I had a wonderful break through. In using the skills I am integrating and exploring with the non-sexual cuddle party (watch for Review parties in Humboldt and Phoenix soon), I opened up those same Relationship skills, and empowered communication dynamics to create one of the most enjoyable events yet.

To feel truly naked, and held in a safe, enjoyable container I desire sacred space. I desire to be witnessed, acknowledge as a sacred being, and understand that is essential to my enjoyment of an event. My heart desires to play in a field of depth and beauty. I bring intensity to a space. It is part of my Gifts. To be held in that strong, powerful container gives me the freedom to unfurl my energetic, orgasmic wings.

For part of the evening, I shared a beautiful dance with a nameless Shiva, and in the perfect moment we saw each other in Divine beauty. We rocked the rafters. Sex can be so much more than two bodies fitting together with friction and chemical interactions. There is so much more to the dance of pleasure, and embodiment. Envision a field of Infinite energetic possibilities.   Breathing in the sounds of others cries of passion, allowing the fullness of our breath to carry my screams of joy to the heavens.

This is the Gift of sacred space. To honor, to be seen and to see others in their beauty.

I look forward to creating ever deeper understanding and offerings of pleasure to the Divine.

Till next time.


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Cuddle Party: a new tool to share with you

Part of my work here, as a Professional Sensualist, is to bring awareness of our choices back into our lives, creating a healthier, happier sensual experience for all.

One of the tools in which I am now in training to share is the Cuddle Party (a workshop built to promote healthy, nurturing touch with strong communication, and self empowered choices).

Cuddle Parties are a chance for us to learn and practice our skills as sensual beings. In this safe, “non sexual” workshop we are empowered to create healthy boundaries with clear communication, and explore nurturing touch. These skills transcend any single facet of our lives. Sexual, non sexual. Friendships, partners, coworkers, neighbors; it is my belief that every single human being can benefit by learning communication skills, healthy boundary setting, body awareness and self empowered choice.

As an experiential workshop, we are given the chance and opportunity to express ourselves in Pajamas. Yes, that is right, this workshop is conducted and participated in our PJ’s! This fun way to rekindle the playful days of the PJ party of our younger days, tapping into the frolic and open nature of our inner child.

I will be scheduling three “review Cuddle Parties” for my Certification in May, and June. I am looking forward to sharing these wonderful workshops with you.

For more information about Cuddle Party, and to see if there is a facilitator in your location please visit

Here is a nice SF Chronicle piece about one of the Co-creators of Cuddle Party.

Kris Ellen
Sacred Sensualist
Cuddle Party Facilitator *in training*

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