Prostate Health and Awareness

Out of Sight, Out of Mind. Unfortunately for this important little body part, like many things, just because you ignore it, it does NOT go away.

As our human lifespan has lengthened with medical advancements, and cultural changes we are increasingly faced with the fact that our bodies grow older, and change. What once worked effortlessly, becomes a source of concern. Our bodies change, and part of honoring the cycles of life is to honor that change.

For the prostate, which does a wonderful job of providing additional liquid to the male ejaculate, by the age of 40 noticeable change is happening for many men. It has been shown that BHP (Benign Prostate Hyperplasia (BHP) is a condition where the prostate enlarges, but does not lead to cancer, affects more than half of all men over the age of 40, and 60% of all men over the age of 50. The percentages just keep going up after that.

This condition is not cancerous, it is nonetheless associated with sexual dysfunction and difficulty in urination.

Another Prostate challenge to be aware of is Prostatitis.  The inflammation or infection of the prostate gland. The symptoms are uncomfortable at best; more often they are extremely painful and can also be dangerous. Symptoms include pain and swelling in the prostate, fever, chills, pain in the lower back, burning or painful urination, a need to urinate frequently during the night, dribbling, fatigue and body aches, and pain with ejaculation. Unlike benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) often referred to as simply “an enlarged prostate,” prostatitis can strike any male, young or old. Prostatitis can be either acute or chronic, bacterial or nonbacterial.

Informed choice and attention to this important part of the male anatomy may be the best solution to avoiding painful, and more serious medial conditions in the future.

When we take time to investigate the many natural healing choices for the prostate we see that there is evidence of being able to alter the course of our physical well being. For those men who have not yet had to face the possibility of prostate challenges, it is never to late to begin to eat healthier, take preventative steps and address this important part of our human journey.

Let us have a open and honest conversation about the body, and body functions. This is our health we are holding in our hands.

I am inspired to shine light on this topic, as it touches all of our lives. Men, women, families. No matter what your gender, or your age, this important information may help reduce the future pain in a loved ones life. Please women: talk to your men about the prostate. Support each other in your sensual journey.


Do you get up more than once or twice a night to urinate?
Do you often have sudden, uncontrollable urges to urinate?
Do you have a frequent need to urinate?
Is your urine stream slow or dribbling?
Do you sometimes need to urinate, but are unable to?
Do you experience burning or pain when you are urinating?
Do you have blood in your urine?
Do you have pain in your lower back, pelvis or upper thighs?
Are you experiencing reduced sexual ability, painful orgasm, impotence?
Are you feeling discomfort during intercourse?

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Voluptious Dance classes

Today in Phoenix I had a wonderful dance class.

The teacher was an embodied woman who shared the Dance Arts. We shared this class with other men and woman who desire to learn how to move their bodies with conscious Intent.

What a holistic, fulfilling experience to step into!

I look forward to aiding this Goddess bring her energies here to the Phoenix Goddess Temple!

Play on SisStars. We are here sharing our light.

In gratitude.

Kris Ellen

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Anal sex myths…when a man loves to share with a woman…


“When a man wants a woman to strap on a synthetic penis and penetrate his anus, it means he wants a woman to fuck him up the ass.  If he wanted a man to do it, he would find another man to do so with relative ease.  Pegging isn’t a “gateway” for homosexuality:  gay men fantasize about, have sex with and fall in love with other men. They don’t ask women to buy sex toys and have sex with them.  A desire for anal sex has nothing to do with sexual orientation. “

A quote from: “The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Strap-On Sex,” by Violet Blue.

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Forward: “This is what a sexless marriage feels like” (a woman’s perspective)

From :

This is What a Sexless Marriage Feels Like (

This is What a Sexless Marriage Feels Like:

This post is not about virtue. It is not an ask for sympathy. It attempts to explore what I’ve learned about sex and sexuality since sex ended within my long-term relationship. I won’t say much about why, because half of it is not my story to tell and I have no right. Just know that because of illness and after sharing a normal, monogamous, sexually active relationship for nearly a decade, my spouse suddenly lost the need, desire, and passion for sex.

When sex disappears like that, you don’t necessarily know it at the time. There’s no announcement. No resetting of hormones for each of you. No discussion that starts with, “I’m thinking I’ll never want to have sex again. Are you ok with this?”  It’s just gone. One day, perhaps months or years later, you realize that the last time you had sex together was the last time you’d ever have sex together.

As I’ve gone through these years without a sexual connection to my spouse, sexual desire did not fade within me. I still think about sex and long for it, I still dream about it, and fantasize. I do try to minimize overt exposure to what can make it harder. I don’t read the OS dirty haikus on Thursday and I never read sensual erotica. I look away during sex scenes in films. I no longer engage in “how’s your sex life” conversations with friends. And yet, even with these rules and a relationship devoid of sex, sex remains a part of my life, in my mind, in my dreams, and in my writing.

As I’ve gotten through these last eight years, I’ve thought a lot about sex, sexuality, and relationships. Here is some of what I’ve discovered:

Sex is vital to a good life. What? You thought you knew that? So did I. I knew sex reduced my stress level, added to my joie de vivre, helped me sleep more soundly, and that it made the mornings after sweeter. I knew that dependable, good sex was very important, even imperative to a good life and relationship. Going without sex led me to understand its meaning even more: I understand how it nourishes and comforts, touches the soul, sustains our natural rhythms. All of that was happening before, so I never examined the ‘how or why”. Going without sex now, I can see how the lack of it upsets each of those things.

Sex may not be a need like air, but it is needed. Yes, I can live without sex, I pretty much do, but I don’t live joyfully. It’s gotten harder, not easier to go without for so long. I need sex to live the life I wanted to live, to feel happiness to the potential I have within me, to carry me through life’s challenges and sorrows. I need sex like I need friends and conversation, like I need the sun and spring, like I need books and music. I need sex to make all of those things better, too. Some nights, sex is all I can think about. I ache to be desired and wanted, to give way to joy and abandon. There is no substitute for the moment when your lover reaches out for you with passion, or with love. Trust me on this, there is no substitute.

Sex holds you together when everything else is pulling you apart. Another given, but think about it for a gentle moment. How many times has that tender caress, that kiss that lingers just a bit longer, that flirtatious glance made you feel closer, safer, connected, a couple, united? How often has it been the bridge from anger to forgiveness, from stressed to relaxed, from lonely to loved? It works. Sex does the job it is supposed to do, fusing you as a couple. Sharing sex means exposing vulnerability, intimacies of the heart and body. You know secrets about each other that are beyond naked and truer than fact, learned during uncensored moments of bliss. Honoring and protecting those secrets is a gift to each other.

Sex makes me feel like a woman and nothing else really does. My career doesn’t do that for me. Spending time with friends doesn’t. Volunteering doesn’t. Wearing skirts and lingerie helps, but still….  sex? Oh yes. That’s when I feel womanly and confident, aching to express my desire and eroticism, and ready to reveal the mysteries of my gender. Nothing else asks me to reach in and grasp the inner femaleness that flows so deep, that yearns to surface. Going without sex now, I sometimes feels less of who I am, less connected to my friends and other women, a little less relevant in the world. I feel distant from myself.

Our sexuality continues to evolve over time, even after many years.  About five years into this, I realized something very new about my sexual desire, something I had not considered before. How could this be? I wasn’t in an active sexual relationship, I was making every attempt to de-sexualize myself, and suddenly a new sexual idea came to me begging to be explored and experienced. How unfair and cruel! This revelation thrilled, stunned and scared me. How and why this came to me during the sex-free years of my existence remain obscure to me, and yet there it is. Just another reminder that sexuality, that basic human drive, has a life of its own.

Sex allows you to communicate in ways that you cannot replicate in any other way.   What you can do with your fingers, your mouth, your hips…. all those luscious areas of the body that allow for expression that can’t be articulated any other way. During sex you can whisper and tease and demand and beg with intonation and nuances that are not appropriate in any other setting. I miss this language so dearly and with such a vengeance that I have to continually monitor myself to be sure I don’t do it in the wrong setting.  I have to say, honestly, this is probably what I miss the most – the language of sex.

Masturbation is nice. And I am a pro. I swear to all of you, none of you are better at this than I am. I always knew masturbation was nice, but before it was just a warm-up or a way to tide myself over between couple-sex events. Now it is sex.

Masturbation gets to be very, very lonely. Not lonely enough to totally stop, but lonely enough that sometimes an orgasm from solo masturbation ends in tears and a feeling of profound solitude.

Sex gives us some hope. Sex makes us hope, for more, for better, for different, for the same. During the good years, we had sex pretty regularly, as couples do. Thursday night? Always. Again on a weekend night and a weekend morning, even both weekend mornings. And then there was Tuesday, the bonus day. Tuesdays felt a little hopeful, a little romantic, a little sexy. I miss that feeling, wondering if it will be a ‘sex Tuesday’. I miss counting on sex on Thursday, and looking forward to weekend sex. Going without sex all the time adds a layer of drudgery to the week. Now it’s just work, time after work, and then sleep. Same thing tomorrow. Same thing next week, next month, and next year. Sex adds that soft glitter to the winter’s gray, a soothing balm to the end of a long work day, a benevolent barrier to the world outside.

The less I had sex, the more I thought about it. During the first few years of this, I thought about sex all the time. There wasn’t a conference room table on which I didn’t imagine a lewd image during a business meeting. I couldn’t enter an elevator without seeing myself pressed against the wall by a lover and kissed passionately. When I traveled, hotel rooms kept me awake at night as I thought about all the options therein. I have consciously worked to mitigate those thoughts and that’s helped, but even that ‘success’ feels like a loss.

Sex makes me love my body. Watching, feeling, hearing a lover take pleasure in my body and receive it from my touch, these feelings are inimitable. A lover’s certain touch affirms me emotionally and physically. Knowing that my body and my own touch produce exquisite gratification and joy tell me I am a sexy, sensual woman. I appreciate my body and am glad for it, but I ache to express and enjoy its sexual potential.

Our sexuality is a gift of comfort and passion that we offer the world, an offer to sustain a love, to convey our essence from our soul.

There is more to say, but even a non-sexual relationship deserves some privacy. Thank you for respecting that. Please remember these are just my lessons. They may be meaningless to others who face this, and to those of you who are sexually active. I honestly can’t predict what will resonate for anyone. I beg you not to tell me I am wrong, but to trust that this is what I think and feel.

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Prostate Health and Awareness

The male prostate is an important and much unspoken of organ in our society. With the incidents of prostate dis-ease and health challenges in our culture increasing; I am called to bring attention to this important aspect of male health.

I am proud to announce I will be offering classes on this important topic soon.

Calling all men over 35! This is important information for your whole health program.

What choices are you making, and how do they affect your health? Do you know where your prostate is? Have you ever had a prostate massage?

There are many different aspects we will cover in class. Lifestyle, nutrition, signs and symptoms of possible dis-ease. Support groups and healing choices.

For more information please call 707-845-3076.


Kris Ellen

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Upcoming events and classes!

 October 2nd, at Humboldt State University.

Kris Ellen will be participating in a Poly Panel (for those who practice a polyamourous lifesyle). 6pm-8pm.


October 3rd, at Humboldt State University. 5pm-7pm. The studio theater.

Fun with cocks: an introducation.

Come explore the pleasures of the cock! In this introductory class we will be examining the physical, mental and energetic properties of the male genitals. Topics that will be covered are cock anatomy and function, reflexology, and different tactile/sensual treats to share with your favorite cock (be it flesh and blood or some other texture). Multiple male ejaculation, Tantra, and safety will also be addressed in this deep, penetrating look at cock.  Questions and discussion are welcome. Bring your lustful imagination, a good sense of humor and let’s talk cock.

 October 25th will be the date of the next Impropriety Soceity (IMPS) play party. “Ghouls Gone Wild” Presale tickets only. Doors open at 9pm. Humboldt is very fortunate to have such a diverse and active sex postive community. Come out and play…

Novermeber 15th and 16th, 10am-5pm.

Kris Ellen will have a booth at the Synergy Fair in Arcata CA. This is a great opportunity to come out and support the Holistic Healers of Humboldt as well as visit Kris Ellen. Information about services, questions and conversation are welcome. Come visit the sensual temple at the healing fair.

This is a busy time for me, I am grateful for the opportunity to share information and education with the community.  If you have any ideas about what topics could be presented please let me know. Other classes in the works are: a prostate massage class, another couples massage playshop, a class on pampering yourself and your partner as well as a erotic communication play shop (a look at how to ask for what you desire, and hear you partner fully) .

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A great start…massage class.

My first massage class with couples was a wonderful experience.

A big thank you to the couples who attended and shared an evening of candlelight and sensual massage.

We had a lovely time. Celebrating the pleasures of sensuality in a consensual and open environment. Boundaries were honored, and couples were asked to communicate prior to the class. It takes a lot of courage to get naked in front of other people and share the pleasures of one’s body.

To take that big first step and honor where you are, and how you feel is a wonderful tool that shows us where there’s yet work to do and what we need to do to face our fears.

I am grateful for the opportunity to share my passion of sensuality, and the knowledge learned over the years with those who seek it.

From what I hear, there’s interest in the areas of Female Ejaculation (G-spot stimulation and anatomy, also called Female Sacred Spot), and Prostate (also called Male Sacred Spot) stimulation, anatomy and massage techniques.

When I was in college I did a presentation on Female Ejaculation. I am sad that the information although out there in the world has not made it to every woman in our community. Still people are not sure what their bodies are doing, and the information is out there! I hear you, sisters. Let us spread the knowledge and awaken our bodies. Let’s revel in the possibilities of pleasure!

More to come 🙂

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